The Olds
Brought to you by "TimeLie" * - 6:00am GMT (ahem) New Years Eve 2006 - the Cockpit, Tony's house

+ ....And at the top of the olds this morning - Clouds cleared briefly at 1:00am GMT today allowing a Newcastle-under-Lyme man (57) his first close up view of the moon using his new telescope.... first impressions are "the moon is made of cheese, and has a man in it"....

+ ....and in a separate development the same man (57) admits he is going "down-bank" again. Earlier this month we reported to you that heavily bearded, balding, father of two, Tony Jones (57) was getting better. Ashen-faced "Tone" now admits "It was all a lie, damn you; my joints are stiff and painful again - I could hardly get out of bed this morning, my hands hurt like hell as I type this and I get tired very easily - it's been getting steadily worse for a couple of weeks, although haven't really wanted to admit it. It's probably the steroids finally wearing off - I hoped the methotrexate would be having more effect by now. Arse...!"

+ .... and finally.... It's New Years Eve and it's Party Time - we're off to Zoe & Warren's for the first part of the evening, and then Cath & Scott's later - and for the first time in years a Bradwell man (57) will "stay dry" tonight - he admitted, "Yes Jeremy.... I'm on the wagon... doctor's orders...".

+ ... and absolutely finally, from all of us here at "BlogHawk Olds" we wish you a Good Hogmanay and a very Happy New year

+ ... and completely & utterly finally, why not confuse everyone tonight by singing the full version of
"Auld Lang Syne" -

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne ?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp!
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou’d the gowans fine;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin’ auld lang syne.
CHORUS

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin’ auld lang syne.
CHORUS

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
And gies a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS

* TimeLie is a registered trademark of Blogger Beta Inc - a feature that allows you to write a post, and then make it appear to be published at a time of your choosing

Disgruntled of Stoke

For weather watchers, I can report that the sky above Stoke-on-Trent has been cloudy over-night, every night since Christmas day (at least it has been during the hours when I am awake). Had it been clear I could have been looking at the Crab nebula (see right) through my lovely new telescope. The best I've managed so far is an exceptionally clear, but frankly uninspiring view of a neighbour's gutter.
The Crab nebula is the remains of a super-nova that Chinese observers saw in 1054AD, although because the Crab is 6300 light-years away the super-nova itself (the cataclysmic explosion of a star) took place when people where still knocking stones together to make tools.
Actually I have no idea whether the Crab would have been visible from Stoke in late December - but then how would I? - since it has been overcast every night since Christmas (in case you haven't noticed).
Metcheck rather helpfully run a free service for amateur astronomers here.
Perhaps if everyone in the Potteries stopped breathing for a bit that would stop things steaming up so much?

party on

I went to a real party last night - one like you see in films, where you stand talking with fascinating people while sipping good wine and, thanks to Rhian and David, eating fantastic food. Despite desperately achy joints, I had a wonderful time - I don't think I've ever met and talked to so many new people who were interesting, funny and kind, in so short a space of time.
The occasion was the birthday of our friend Richard who was 60 yesterday, and another of his friends David, who was 55. Pen and I felt honoured to have been invited as there were only about 25 people there, of whom I knew only about a quarter.
Amongst others, I met Sue and Julian who own and tend the best garden (I'm sure of it) in N Staffs - Pen and I had been there on open days and were astounded at the imagination and excitement packed into such a small area - the garden includes a 30 foot waterfall, a roundabout, a Japanese tea house over water, a surprise fountain that delights and shocks both children and adults, and of course wonderful planting. It was great pleasure to meet them and hear how they had transformed a derelict plot and house. If you like gardens even just a little bit, watch out for open days at Bleak House in Bagnall, the experience is far from bleak.

Happy birthday Richard and David - thank you for a wonderful evening - and Happy birthday Dad, who died in 1962, but would have been 86 yesterday....

The 39 Steps

1. wake - any time from 4:30am to 8:30am
2. fidget - three aims: 1) get shoulders, knees, ankles, elbows and wrists comfortable; 2) don't wake Pen (who needs more sleep than me); 3) try to stop worries crowding into my head - optional activity: incubate idea for blog post
3. cuddle Pen
4. get out of bed - having given up on above three aims
5. pee
6. put on jim-jams
7. get socks - grope in dark drawer for a pair of large, soft socks (not tight, crisp ones - I can't get those on with sausage fingers)
8. wrestle with djellabah - an almost impossible garment to get on at the best of times, but particularly challenging first thing in the morning with stiff, painful joints, however, well worth the effort because it is warm and comfy - the occasion of the first of many bouts of (silent) cursing
9. open and close bedroom door very quietly - which is next to impossible as the latch has needed oiling for the last four years
10. brush toothy-pegs in other bath-room cos that's where the electric toothbrush is (I can't manage a manual one first thing), and also, so as not to wake the Sleeping Beauty aka Pen
11. go down stairs - a slow, "one-step at a time" process
12. shuffle to kitchen
13. switch on kettle - hoping it has some water in - if no water - fart about with water filter thingy and the stupid eco-kettle's knobs and doo-dads
14. turn on lovely digital radio
15. turn down radio cos it is inevitably too loud, threatening to wake Pen and Rich (aka The Sleeping Beauties)
16. feed cats - a cause of much cursing if there is no catfood open, or one of our two cats is missing
17. get today's pill box
18. prepare breakfast - toast or weetabix + a cup of tea - got to have this even if I don't fancy it, 'cos pills must be taken with food (otherwise dire consequences)
19. turn off radio
20. lurch into lounge - with tea, toast/weetabix, pills and socks (note- mode of locomotion has shifted from shuffle to lurch, my joints are loosening)
21. arrange cockpit
22. sit down and wrestle with socks
23. turn on laptop
24. turn on TV - tune to Radio 4
25. return to kitchen to get things I have forgotten
26. stagger back to turn down tele cos it is inevitably too loud, threatening to wake Pen and Rich (aka The Sleeping Beauties) - note- mode of locomotion has shifted from lurch to stagger, cos I'm hurrying
27. slurp tea/eat fodder
28. check email while doing above, trying (unsuccessfully) not to get crumbs in keyboard
29. take pills
30. browse Guardian and Wikipedia front pages - opening articles that interest me as background pages
31. read some of above articles - cursing as necessary at Bush, Blair, Cameron, "state of world in general"
32. get cold (especially if it's after 8:30 when heating goes off)
33. either -
    - put blanket over knees
    - go to utility room to turn central heating back on - optional activities: step in cat sick, curse, clear up cat sick whilst cursing (who said men can't multi-task)
34. settle on sofa again
35. get annoyed with radio especially if it is "Midweek" with bloody smug Libby Purves
36. turn sound down
37. open "bloghawk" - snigger at enormously witty posts
38. sign in to blogger - optional activity: curse at inability to type password accurately with sausage fingers
39. settle to write new blog post

Those are the 39 necessary steps preliminary to writing this post - I just hope you are grateful for all the effort

luck

Over the last four years we have been through some extraordinarily rough times - the serious illness and death of Sara (Tone's former partner & his sons' mother), the death of Tone's step-dad, Pen being made redundant, Tone's mum and Pen's step-mum both recovering from life-threatening illness and Tone's own illness. We have both had times when we were anxious and depressed.
There have also been, we're glad to say, some wonderfully positive things that have helped us cope - Pen getting an exciting new job, the remarkable love and support within our immediate family, Jude & Hywel's wedding, some great holidays (the best we've ever had), and our growing involvement in all kinds of artistic stuff - especially music and photography.
Throughout that time there have been two friends who have made an especially positive impact on our lives - Cath and Scott. There have been times when their kindness, generosity, help and staggering musicality have made the difference between us staying afloat and us going under. They've just been visiting us with Cael, Ava and Jaro (their wonderfully alive children) and we realise yet again how important they are to us - we laugh so much with them, and yet at times we also have the most serious and challenging conversation. We will see them again on New Years eve and we'll have a great time (it's pretty much guaranteed).
Purkal is absolutely right when she says that she is lucky to have good people in her life - we are the possessors of the same luck. There are loads of other really important people to us - we started to list them but that just seemed to water down how we feel about them, so let's just say that we would not be as well as we are today without the support and love of all those friends, family and colleagues......thank you.... Tone and Pen xxx

Christmas day post.....

BAH HUMBUG



...no, not really - I've had a brill day - felt pretty well - cooked christmas dinner for six, with loads of veg and trimmings, I did a lot of it and didn't get too knackered - Pen and Phil and Rich got me an astronomical telescope, a 127mm reflector on a equatorial mount, I'm absolutely bowled over - Sheila and Bernard came over for dinner, and then Emily and then Torb arrived (a nice surprise), so, a house full for a while, and more visitors tomorrow.
I hope you had a great day - and I'm looking forward to reading other MindBlogglers christmas posts....

explanation and clarification

Alec, as always, is right on the button; there is something "fishy" about the previous post. In his comment on the post, he raises the issue of inverted commas/quotation marks, and their overuse in our annual newsletter.
Well, it's a long story, but one well worth the telling, because it contains lessons for us all....
This time last year (roughly) I made a resolution (of the New Years variety) to write more romantic fiction. To this end I purchased and installed on my laptop a copy of "Mills & Boon's Romantic Digital Assistant v2.04" - a piece of software that Mills & Boon produce (and sell for £21.99) to help aspiring authors meet the exacting publication standards set by M&B for their romantic novels. The program runs in the background on your computer, and amongst other things, helps the novice author keep track of the numbers of clinches, kisses and swoons (and other seduction-related data). For historical romances it also provides a series of acceptable defaults for bodice-ripping parameters (e.g. number of buttons ripped off, and percentage of heaving bosom exposed).

It also helps with matters of writing style. It ensures for example, that, in the interests of keeping the reader engaged, the text doesn't include too much boring description, but is firmly based in dialogue - for example -
"Oh Roger I've never felt this way before", Helena gasped.
"I know" groaned Roger;
"I know you know my darling", whimpered Helena;
"I know you know I know" heaved Roger....... and so on.
Pretty steamy stuff, eh? And of course in the heat of the moment it is very easy for an inexperienced author to lose track of all those inverted commas, or even to miss them out altogether! I'm sure you can see where I'm heading here. I lost track of, and even missed out, some inverted commas. And because I had (stupid smug man that I am) altered the program's default inverted comma setting, excess punctuation built up in the keyboard buffer, and the even the computer's main I/O bus.

Early versions of Windows used to include a facility for releasing the pressure of excess, unused punctuation (rather like the spit valve on a tuba), but of course the latest versions don't (Microsoft cost cutting again!). So I had this problem - my laptop was slowing down because it was clogged up with inverted commas, but their was no way to drain-off the excess - what was I to do?
And then it came, a blinding flash of inspiration!!! Write an excessively long and tedious annual newsletter to send out with the christmas cards - that'll help, especially if I litter it liberally with words and phrases enclosed in "utterly pointless quotation marks" - and I'm delighted to be able to report there is hardly any extraneous punctuation left clogging up my computer.

And that would have been that, if I had not also fiddled with the "Reality" settings on the program. The default setting for your average romantic novel is 17.5% - 100% provides pin-sharp realism (e.g. Big Brother), 0% leads to utter fantasy (e.g. a New Labour election manifesto). Before I wrote the newsletter I had mistakenly set the "Reality level" to minus 14%....
So take note before you make those New Years Resolutions, the "law of unintended consequences" is hard at work in the Universe, and set to undermine our very best intentions.

the Vincent-Jones family newsletter 2006

This year we've decided to go on the "information superhighway" with our little "newsletter" so that it can be more widely read - so many of our our friends and family have told us how much you like to hear "the news" from "our little family" each year. Apparently sitting by the fire on Xmas Eve reading it out loud has become something of "a ritual" in the households of many of our friends and family -

Overall it has been a good year with lots of "ups and downs" but the Vincent-Jones' have "emerged battered but un-bowed"!!!

Sadly the year has brought death and destruction to the household. Great Uncle Ralph's third wife's mother died after "a very good innings" at 102 in August - it was really nice to see so many of you at the funeral - the vicar and the Co-op did her proud. Taffy killed a robin that he caught, after Penny had worn it out trying to catch it, to stop Taffy eating it, in March. Penny was a silly girl and ripped the campervan roof off a couple of weeks ago - that was a shock - but we are over it now - we are just trying to find a "little man" to replace it for us. The highlight of the year was Tom and Katie's wedding (no not that Tom and Katie!).

Many of you will know that Tony has been ill this year - in February a nasty cold laid him out flat and he was still catarrhal in March. Piles once again reared their ugly head in June but after a visit to "our GP" things have settled down again (fingers crossed). Tony's charitable activities continue apace, with an autumn highlight being his tirade against government budgetary constraints and their effects on the voluntary sector at the annual VS do in, the delightful conference suite at Port Vale football ground. Andrew was terribly impressed and offered to poach Tony - which of course Tony outright refused - how could he "transfer loyalty" "at this stage in the game"?!
Of course Penny has got a new job. She has continued jetting around to conferences - Birmingham, Manchester, London, and Burslem! She has some "ladies' problems" "down there" but again "our GP" has "fixed her up".
As many of you know we like to think that in both our jobs we are making "a big difference" in the lives of those "less fortunate than ourselves".
"Our boys" Philip and Richard - both have, of course, "shot up", although Richard remains "the baby of the family" - although Tony always quips "I wouldn't like to change his nappy".
Richard now has so many holes that Penny said "he'd have to be careful people didn't think he was a sieve". Phil is now living in Hanley and Tony gave him one of his many guitars. He has a lot of mates - Boggy plays guitar in another "up and coming" local group and he and his girlfriend Sally are having a dinner party to which we are all invited - Penny can wear her new shoes at last!

Our cars - our 1998 Toyota Corolla 3 door saloon 1.3GL continues to perform its duties as the family workhorse, although it still makes that funny little noise when you let the clutch out - we'll have to get Adrian to have a look. Our much loved Nissan Micra 1.3GX moved on to pastures new this year, and is apparently doing sterling duty with his "new owner", taking him to and from work, and sometimes a trip down to Redditch to see his friends.

Taffy and Sampson- continue to give us lots of pleasure, although Sampson tends to dribble on the quilt when you tickle his tummy, and we are all heartily fed up with clearing up after Taffy has vomited in the washing machine. As many of you know we are "animal-lovers" - and its good to know we are doing our bit in the fight to prevent the extinction of the the domestic cat!

Travel
The highlight of our year has been the acquisition of a trusty Volkswagon T2-based campervan - it is the Autosleeper Trident conversion, with 1932cc, water-cooled rear engine - it's a little beauty and promises to take us "all over the place" over the next few years. So far we have been to Buxton, Alton, Preston and Skegness. We have also been to lots of other places including, Manchester, Kendal, Birmingham, Keswick, Preston, Southport, Crosby, Derby, Stone, Cheltenham, Glasgow, Formby, Kirkby Lonsdale, Warrington, Shrewsbury, Leicester, Poynton, Leek, Moira, Bedworth, Kidderminster, Cambridge, Harkstead, Middlewich, Northwich, Alsager, Alton, Whitchurch, London (not together) and many more - phew! We would have liked to go to New Zealand, but once again didn't quite make it - "ho-hum". Phil and his friend jetted off to "Gay Paree" for the weekend!!
Our sub-Arctic endeavours are still very much in our mind, we'll never forget

Artistic endeavours -
Penny's hankering after art classes still continues to "draw" her (Ed - "joke") and Tony's musical activities have seen him making great strides with his vibrato. As many of you know, Philip's "group" go from strength to strength and they may release a CD of their efforts in future - Phil says "It's all down to lots of practice".
Dancing - we we're able to dance for much of the year until Tony's rheumatics and Penny's hand injury put a stop to that. We'll never forget the night when she was dancing "Foggy Loggy" to "Much Swindon" and she dropped her "stick" during the sticking (Ed - sticking is hitting your partner's stick with your stick).

Shopping
Many of you will be surprised to know that we have changed our shopping habits quite a lot this year, we were regulars at Sainsburys for many years as many of you know, often "having a laugh" with the girls on the tills - we liked the "bargain fridge" and often bought yellow label items to "pop in the freezer". You may, therefore be surprised to hear that we go to Aldi in Tunstall a lot now. We "like the prices" and they have lots of things you can't get in other places, like "German ham"! Tony also likes the "bargain bits" - he recently narrowly missed getting an inverter for only £15.99 (Tony says - an inverter takes 12 volts DC car battery current and makes it into 240volts allternating current mains electricity) - which would have been very useful for the campervan. We also go to the fish-stall in Tunstall market a lot.

"Doing our bit" - we are now managing to recycle much of our household waste (ably assisted by Richard) and often drive specially to the recycling centre with a box of cardboard or a plastic bag of plastic bottles - we think it is so important to do your bit for global warming. We also get rid of rubbish using Freecycle. Along with global warming, we are very concerned about the awful state of affairs on the continent, as many of you know we both think that war is awful - those poor Iraqis - when will our leaders learn not to dabble in the affairs of others??!! We email "our MP" regularly, and he always replies!


"Our Garden"
As many of you know "Our Graden" is our "hearts delight" and is quite the littel "wildlife haeven". We have had lots of little visitors, amongst others we have had pigeons, sparrows, cats and rats visiting!! We have just "lived out there" this year, and it really has paid dividneds don't you think? We are thinking of doing an open garden for charity next year - we'll let you know when. Oh! and thanks for the busy lizzie cutting Marge it "settled-in" very nicely!

Socialising
This year's socialising has been dominated, as many of you know, by music-making - we are between us in lots of choirs and lots of "groups" and "combos" where between us we play as many as 11 different instruments! We also re-entered the thespian world this year with small but significant parts in the Penkhull Mystery play (Ed - it's a Mystery to me how they ever got the parts) - Tony was particularly striking as "Death's" assistant - many friends and family came to see us at various perfomances - to all those who didn't get to see us - sorry you didn't get to see us, maybe next year?
Our friendship with the Headmistress of the Burslem School of Art and her hubby has blossomed this year as we have found a new interest in common - music! - we have been encouraging their first steps on the "musical gang-plank" a lot, and they will make great strides when they learn to "let their musical hair down".
Tony and Penny's summer was dominated by lots of festivals, and so was Philip's and Richard's - although our taste in festivals is very different (as many of you know)!!!!!***???!!!
We are very grateful to our long-time "festival partners" S and M for all their support with Tony's condition. As many of you will know Tony met his all-time musical hero this summer and managed to take a picture of him, "it was almost as good as the time I met Jimmy Hendrix!" Tony quipped later.
We have seen a lot of Harold this year.
We have been very worried about Dave's wife - but you will be relieved to hear that things seem to be "on the up" for them now after a very difficult time. We have spent many hours on the phone and up and down the motorway.

Other news
Matthew is now wearing glasses and is becoming a beaver
Tom and Katie got married (not that Tom and Katie though!) - it was a lovely wedding. As did Diane and Linda - although the food wasn't very good. As many of you know, Tony was in much demand as the "semi-official, official" photographer! (Tony quipped- "I will really have to replace that instamatic"!!) - Congratulations to both the "happy couples"
Rachel is pregnant again!! Congratulations!!!
Tony's Aunty Sandy was 63!!! this year - we just don't know how she does it!
Doctor (no less!) Michael has got his PhD at last - what he doesn't know about synclinal folding in triassic sandstone bedding planes isn't worth knowing. Congratulations Dr Mike!


Well that's it from the Lady-Chairman and Chief Executive of "Vincent-Jones plc" for another year - Hope to see you in the New Year (and if we don't "same time same place next year?")

video experiment 3 - Proud father II (er...well I think so)

When I showed Rich (my second son) the video of Phil (see below), he said, all hurt - "What about my video?" - I didn't actually know there was a video of him - it turns out there are two.
Those of a nervous disposition are advised not to watch these -

you may need to click the play button twice to get it to start




In the end neither of these piercings stayed in - Rich is, as you can see, thin as a rake (I was like this at his age, although it may now be difficult to believe) and the pressure of hips bones meant that the piercings never healed properly.....

video experiment 2 - Proud father

I can't post a video of "Cap'n Yange" without also posting one of my son's band "Here's to the atom bomb". Here they are caught live earlier this year on a phone (by the looks of things), at the Underground in Hanley - the picture/sound quality ain't great but HTTAB are wonderful. If you want to see them they're playing the Underground on Friday 22nd December....
HTTAB are Phil Jones (vocals - that's my boy), Richard Dooley (guitar), Alex Shenton (guitar), Pete Bray (bass) and Tomos Hughes (drums) -

you may need to click the play button twice to get it to start

video experiment 1 - my mate's band

I've wanted to embed a YouTube video for a while, but I couldn't work out how to do it - but a bit of persistence has paid off, so here we are. These are my mates "Captain Yange" - they are Scott Ralph (guitar, bass, vocals), Si Waite (guitar, bass, vocals), and Paul Murphin (drums, percussion, vocals). The video was made by Darren Teale of "Junction 15", who are based at Burslem School of Art -
you may need to click the play button twice to get it to start -

no more Mr FineGuy...

...I've just realised I must stop saying I'm fine when I'm not. Being positive when you are ill is really important - but feeling guilty about being ill, and then lying to protect other people having to deal with the facts of illness, is wrong.

A few weeks back when I was telling a friend that I was trying to stay positive - he said "Yes - you don't want to be an energy Hoover." I agreed at the time, but now I'm pissed off and I don't know how to tell him. Another friend said in an email to Pen (my partner), "it's bad for Tony, but it must be worse for you." It is bad for Pen - but it doesn't take much thought to realise that it's likely to be worse for me.
People who are sick and disabled are marginalised enough in society, and yet we are expected to pretend everything is fine so as not to bring other people down.
So if you don't want to really hear how I am, don't ask - you just might hear that I'm feeling lousy today.

there's drugs and "drugs" and non-drugs....

drugs
are all the things that you and I take to help cure or alleviate a medically recognised condition - most are harmful if used wrongly, and most are sufficiently dangerous to have to be prescribed by a doctor. Despite the potentially ruinous effects, these drugs are generally regarded as good.
"drugs"
Then there are "drugs" - these are things that are judged as bad, perhaps because they are often used in the pursuit of fun. "drugs" also have very dangerous effects - often exaggerated by the media, they are in many cases no more dangerous than some things you can buy over the counter in any chemist's. Many of the most dangerous effects of "drugs" depend on the context in which they are taken.
Cannabis is a "drug" - and there is some evidence that long-term, heavy use can trigger schizophrenia in pre-disposed people. However it's benefits in treating conditions like multiple schlerosis, Parkinson's disease and arthritis are at least as well proven as it's ill effects. Which makes the decision of Carlisle Crown Court to prosecute and convict Lezley and Mark Gibson for supplying small quantites of cannabis to MS sufferers, utterly bizzare. Lezley herself suffers from MS and gets relief by taking cannabis, so she and her partner Mark, being kind and helpful folks supplied small amounts of cannabis to other accredited MS sufferers. They didn't charge for this service, but accepted donations to cover costs. Following their conviction they will have to stop doing this. Cannabis, in the form of Sativex spray, is available to people with MS, on prescription - but due to a cowardly government fudge, it isn't properly licenced, so the legal basis for doctor's supplying it is uncertain.
I would stake my life on cannabis being no more dangerous than at least four of the drugs I am currently taking - but because it is a "drug" it cannot be a drug - my GP cannot, for example, prescribe cannabis to relieve my arthritis.

non drugs
...I won't even mention alcohol and nicotine, which are still most peoples non-drugs of choice.

Our society has some pretty strange, inconsistent and hypocritical attitudes towards drugs/"drugs"/non-drugs ... and it's to the detriment of just about everybody except landlords, drink and fag manufacturers and dealers.

no time for blogging

haven't managed to do any of this since last Wednesday - we've had lots of visitors (joy of joys), and of course seasonal stuff has been taking a lot of time, and my joints are starting to get stiff and achy again. And I'm going to be busy again for the next few days - with more visitors (even more joy) and card writing and pressie wrapping (if my fingers will allow). But I will post on christmas day (like purkal suggests)...

honorary woman for a night...

...well actually for about ten minutes - but it was a real honour.
Loud Mouth Women are an informal, acapella choir for women. They came together some years back with the aim of encouraging women, especially those who were not confident singing, to use their voices. LMW never intended to perform - however over the last few years, entirely because of the quality of the singing, LMW have increasingly taken to performing. My partner Pen is in LMW.
Last night they held a Christmas party in the Old Brown Jug (a fantastic music pub in Newcastle, Staffs) and as usual they sang their hearts out, and for the last few songs they invited the members of the Mystery Singers (a similar, mixed gender choir of which I am a member) to join them - it was fantastic - around fifty women and half a dozen honorary women, i.e. men, singing in harmony, in a pub, having stuffed our faces with food and drink - I was pretty knackered at the end, but it was life-affirmingly GLORIOUS

the picture above shows LMW performing last summer

becalmed....

...is what you are when you get the wind taken out of your sails - and I have had the wind taken out of my sails today.
I visit the Haywood hospital rheumatology department regularly so that I can see Sarah (the truly excellent monitoring nurse consultant), who checks how I am getting on with taking methotrexate (mtx) - she reviews my most recent blood test and we have a chat about how I am.
I said I'd been feeling pretty good, and that the mtx must be having a significant effect. She clearly didn't want to dent my positivity, but she sounded several words of caution -

• The improvement in my joints could in part be due to mtx, but the steroid injection I had 6 weeks ago would still be controlling the inflammation (I'd understood that it would have worn off by now, but apparently it remains active for up to ten weeks). It's simply too early to tell if the mtx is being really effective.
• Just because I had virtually no ill-effects from taking mtx last week didn't mean it would always be like that - this week it might be bad again (oh joy!)
• I can't have another steroid injection now, until I've seen the rheumatologist at the end of January. I thought I could, but it turns out that if I do, they won't be able to tell if the mtx is working - it makes sense now they tell me - but even still it comes as a bit of a blow 'cos they've been a bit of a lifeline. If things become unbearable they will bring forward my appointment with the rheumatologist.
• The 15mg/week of mtx will not be increased until I see the rheumatologist - I thought I would be going up to 20mg and then 25mg straightaway, but apparently this is not inevitable. This is in some ways good news, 'cos it is less likely I will feel lousy over Christmas/New Year.
• I must be careful not to overdo things just because I have some good days

I had clearly misunderstood a lot of things about my treatment - or perhaps had placed too positive a gloss on what I had been told? Whatever, I had built up rather too rosy a view of my condition....

I work for an advice agency that very often gives people lots of very complex information about their circumstances and what they need to do. We recognised some years back that often this was too much for even the most able and calm people to take in without misunderstanding, so we nearly always provide written confirmation of our advice, and sometimes also send a follow-up letter.
It seems to me that health professionals and the people they are treating, are in the same position, and that some sort of written confirmation of what has been said would save lots of misunderstanding and potentially, mistakes in treatment.

So today you find me feeling a little deflated, perhaps becalmed, but probably rather more realistic about my current condition.

Wednesday update - as if to confirm what Sarah told me yesterday, my joints today are as bad as they've been in a month, and if I'm truthful with myself they've been getting worse for a few days.... ho-hum

what's in a name...?

I am really pissed off at the way in which the Ipswich murder victims have been represented by BBC radio news; as in - "Another prostitute has been found dead in Ipswich", not "another women", or "another victim", but "prostitute". I'm not sure I can think of another group of people who are as consistently referred to by their occupation, as women sex workers. The men who buy sexual services are, by contrast, "clients" - a posh word more normally associated with people being helped by solicitors, accountants or even, dare I say, CAB.

As a result of the publicity about the current cases, it has become apparent that there are many unsolved murders of women who sell sex, but they don't merit the media's attention because they are prostitutes, and are therefore they are "asking for it". Of course, selling sex is dangerous - the "clients" make it so - many sex workers experience regular and horrific violence at the hands of "clients" - selling sexual services on the street is an act of desperation driven by poverty and vulnerability.

There is something perverse about us humans, especially those who work in the media - we/they are happy to either ignore or vilify a group of highly vulnerable women, whilst letting this walking turd smarm his way back into our media.

By the way Lord Archer (he is still a Lord despite his imprisonment for perjury) was a "user" of Ms Monica Coughlan who was employed at the time as sex worker.

Here endeth this rant....


Update Tuesday 7:00pm - the worst news - the bodies of another two women have been found, almost certainly victims of the same murderer
... and a Guardian article

a "no show"

.... after a load of werriting and maundering last week , I experienced virtually no ill effects after taking methotrexate. For the last few weeks Thursdays in particular have been really horrible, and I assumed that something similar would happen again - but it didn't, so I think we'll call that a "no show".... whoopee!

statistical update...

... in the late 70s/early 80s there was statistic about the UK economy that was much bandied about on the left, it even gave it's name to the brilliant socialist - "7:84 theatre company" - the numbers referring to the fact that the wealthiest 7% of the British population owned 84% of the wealth.
The World Institute for Development Economics Research (part of the United Nations ) has just produced a report on wealth distribution which shows that just 1% of the adults in the world own 40% of the worlds wealth.
That's a lot of very rich people, but vastly more desperately poor ones....

Back in the days when Thursday was Friday,
I only worked four days a week. So, on Thursday, whilst others were toiling away, barely halfway through their working week, I had that "Friday" glow. I'd sometimes celebrate with my own personal dress-down Thursday. Everyone else clad in sober dark suiting, I would sparkle like a star in a pair of pink patent sling-backs and a lilac tutu. (For students of the English language - the previous sentence contains examples of hyperbole.)
By now you are probably getting the idea - Thursday was a good day, a day to be savoured, an eagerly anticipated belle jour. If I were asked what colour Thursdays were, I would have said a bright lustrous green full of promise for a long leisurely weekend.

But now, flippin 'eck now - Thursdays are a doom-laden shitty brown. Thursdays are the day after the day in which I swallow the devil's droppings. Yes folks, Wednesday is the day I take methotrexate (see below); so Thursday is now the day when I try to hang on to the contents of my digestive system - a task not unlike carrying a bowl of carrot and tomato soup across the deck of a tramp steamer in a force nine gale - it's difficult to get to the other side without some spillage.

So now, in a move that all right-thinking people will welcome, I declare Wednesday to be the new Friday. So whilst you slave away at your soul-destoying, backbreaking labours, the boss breathing down your neck eager to find fault, and less than half way through the working week - I will be found engaged an enviable variety of delightful and engaging sofa-based activities* - and trying to forget that tomorrow is Thursday.


* - listening to the radio, watching videos, pratting about on the computer, munching Mars bars, reading, and maybe, just maybe, a little light dusting

ahem...

thanks guys!

... I for one feel significantly safer... thanks to all the former CND supporters in the Cabinet...

Steve Bell in the Guardian

notes and clarifications....

.... a few loose ends arising from yesterday's posts -

• I challenged myself to write an impressively long sentence (in the post about blogging), and got to 140+ words - I think this may be a personal best and I'm impressed with myself, but it is pathetically inadequate compared to the world record which is around a 100 times as long
  
• I noticed today that Waterstones have a big pile of Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion"
  
• "a little light dusting" was, as many of you will have spotted, a gross understatement - I was actually, wiping, tidying, re-arranging, generally titivating and dusting
  
• palindromic, in the particular context in which I've used it, means - "coming and going", not "reads the same forwards as backwards"
  
• I noticed today that Waterstones have a big pile of Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion"
  
• just to be clear - I am a Pastafarian, but I don't believe all that rubbish about Invisible Pink Unicorns (which is clearly girly nonsense designed to take-in the naive and foolish)
• the picture (above right) has nothing to do with anything in this post, or any other posts on this blog to date

I hope that's cleared up a few things for you ....?

BTW - I noticed today that Waterstones have a big pile of Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion"

blogging is good for you!

.....or perhaps I should hedge my bets and say that "blogging can be good for you?" *explanatory footnote 1

Over the last couple of months I have been pretty much welded to the sofa - unfit for work and too tired and uncomfortable for much else (that is the nature of RA).
But sitting with a laptop on my lap, with Radio 4 dribbling into my ears, and sometimes methodically, sometimes light-heartedly and occasionally furiously setting down my thoughts in concrete, and publishable form, has dampened my anxiety and held depression at bay. It's partly the concentration, partly the activity, but mostly it is the opportunity for expression that has made all the difference.

I had all but given up blogging earlier this year. But, at the suggestion of the mind-bloggling team I started again. When we first had the idea for what became the mind-bloggling project, the MAGMH trustees didn't want to imply any therapeutic benefits to potential funders - not least because they would be hard to evidence. Instead we emphasised the potential for challenging the stigma attached to mental distress/illness.
However there really are healing benefits attached to writing in this way (as there are for all creative activities). My previous post about religious belief lead to several hours of fascinating activity - researching, thinking and writing - including an hour and a half listening to Richard Dawkins, while I did a little light dusting.

Thanks 'mindblogglers' I'm in your debt...


Explanatory Footnote for Clarification -
1 - There is a body of direct anecdotal evidence, and some empirical evidence from similar and related fields of artistic endeavour and creative activity, that the act of keeping of an occasional, but frequently updated, informal, internet-based journal (a so-called web-log, or blog) has both tangible/measureable, and less tangible, but none-the-less valuable, therapeutic benefits, resulting in positive outcomes (both transitory and more permanent; short, medium and possibly long-term), for those experiencing - i) undiagnosed, sub-clinical/sub-pathological, mental distress, and, ii) those patients with a diagnosis representing more seriously disordered thinking and behaviors (acute, chronic or palindromic), as a beneficial, synergistic adjunct to, and not replacing, psychotherapeutic interventions and therapies (be they cognitive, psychodynamic, behavioral) and/or pharmacological treatments and/or neurologic remedies. (snigger)

"As flies to wanton boys...
....are we to the gods; They kill us for their sport" writes Shakespeare in his darkest play, King Lear. The words are spoken by Gloucester after he has been blinded by Cornwall and Regan (Lear's daughter), and reveal Shakespeare's apparent contempt for a cruelly detached god - one whose existence he is seemingly willing to doubt.
In his latest book "The God Delusion" Richard Dawkins goes much further and puts together a carefully argued and unrelenting case against belief in god. I've not read the book yet, but would like to - so if you are looking to buy me a christmas present and can overlook the inherent irony - go ahead, and make my (christmas) day.

To whet my appetite for this forthcoming xmas treat, I've just watched these two video clips -
Richard Dawkins lecture - part 1 - in which he reads excerpts from his book during a lecture at a US university - the video lasts around 40 minutes

Richard Dawkins lecture - part 2 - Dawkins answers questions following the readings - the video lasts about an hour

Other atheistic and anti-fundamentalist stuff -
Why can't I own a Canadian? - the bible is apparently "gods will" made word and therefore to be taken literally - after reading this you may wish to adopt a more pic'n'mix approach.

And finally, if after all that you are still interested in 'getting religion' (or seeking an alternative to the one you've got) - try these for size -

• Invisible Pink Unicorn - articles and creeds, revelations, miracles and relics


• Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - the beliefs of the Pastafarians (see pic above)


• Celestial Teapot as revealed by St Bertrand


• god - as interpreted and revealed in a variety of extremist cults

Alternatively you can try the National Secularist Society - I think I might give it a go...

Three bits of inconsistency (well I never was much good at absolutely committing myself to any idea) -

• some of the people who I love and respect most of all, are people of faith - I hope they will still talk to me if they read this
• for a while in the eighties I was a Marxist zealot - which is as close as you get to an atheistic religion
• when I was young I was choir-boy

Poisoning myself...

... my joints are getting better - I think I can now descend from the fence, and admit it in writing. I've been superstitious about acknowledging the improvement, lest, pride coming before a fall, I found I was just having a few good days in a row. But the improvement is sustained. I'm not pain free, and I'm often very tired still, but the stiffness and swelling have lessened and I don't feel as ill....

but, and it's a big BUT....
the main drug I am taking - methotrexate (mtx) - is making me feel pretty awful. This is no great surprise as mtx is highly toxic.
The hope is that in taking it, the benefits significantly outweigh the "costs". This would be more acceptable if mtx cured rheumatoid arthritis (RA), but it doesn't, it only slows the disease down; and unless your RA goes into remission, taking mtx is a life sentence.
When you start taking mtx you take a small dose for a while, in my case 7.5mg a week, and gradually build up until your symptoms all but disappear, or until the toxic effects become intolerable. This process has taken two months so far and last Wednesday, 7pm, I took my first dose of 15mg. By bedtime I felt sick, I was up half the night, and the next day I spent in bed - I was very nauseous, had diarrhoea, stomach cramps, dizziness/motion sickness and felt completely knackered - all in all an hilarious package of symptoms. And I'm still feeling queasy on Sunday morning.
Longer term, other effects have also been building up - irritability, motion sickness, depression, loss of appetite - for those who know me well this is a big-y - horrible taste in mouth and a couple other things too personal to mention here.

These things are all to be expected - this page shows what people taking mtx experience - both good and bad.

What I have to decide now is if I can tolerate the bad effects, set against the good the drug is doing....

polonium 210

...I worked as an industrial chemist many years ago (how I ended up working at a CAB is a long and complicated story) so when it became known that polonium 210 (210Po) had been used to kill Alexander Litvinenko, the chemistry nerd in me needed to know more about this material - and what I learned astounded me -
- 210Po is an extremely rare material - only about 100 grams in total are produce each year - that is roughly a one inch cube
- 210Po is 400,000 times more toxic than cyanide
- one gram of 210Po is enough (if effectively delivered) to poison 100 million people (nearly twice the population of Britain)
- a particle weighing only 6.8 picograms or 0.000 000 000 0068 grams is enough to seriously damage the health of a single person
- 210Po is extraordinarily radioactive, however the radiation it produces cannot penetrate a piece of paper - it is only dangerous (broadly) if some gets inside you
- 210Po is hot in more ways than one - one gram of it gives of as much heat as 150 watt light bulb
- 210Po is so radioactive that the air around a piece of it glows blue

All of these facts make it extraordinary that is was chosen by Alexander Litvinenko's killers - it is a truly sadistic way to kill anyone; it leaves a clear trail of where it has been (both before the poisoning and after) and it is possible (by using a kind of chemical finger-printing) to track down where it came from; the risk to the person administering it is extremely high, as are the risks to other people who come into contact with the victim, the killers, or those who are unfortunate enough to simply go to the places where the victim has been.