The 39 Steps

1. wake - any time from 4:30am to 8:30am
2. fidget - three aims: 1) get shoulders, knees, ankles, elbows and wrists comfortable; 2) don't wake Pen (who needs more sleep than me); 3) try to stop worries crowding into my head - optional activity: incubate idea for blog post
3. cuddle Pen
4. get out of bed - having given up on above three aims
5. pee
6. put on jim-jams
7. get socks - grope in dark drawer for a pair of large, soft socks (not tight, crisp ones - I can't get those on with sausage fingers)
8. wrestle with djellabah - an almost impossible garment to get on at the best of times, but particularly challenging first thing in the morning with stiff, painful joints, however, well worth the effort because it is warm and comfy - the occasion of the first of many bouts of (silent) cursing
9. open and close bedroom door very quietly - which is next to impossible as the latch has needed oiling for the last four years
10. brush toothy-pegs in other bath-room cos that's where the electric toothbrush is (I can't manage a manual one first thing), and also, so as not to wake the Sleeping Beauty aka Pen
11. go down stairs - a slow, "one-step at a time" process
12. shuffle to kitchen
13. switch on kettle - hoping it has some water in - if no water - fart about with water filter thingy and the stupid eco-kettle's knobs and doo-dads
14. turn on lovely digital radio
15. turn down radio cos it is inevitably too loud, threatening to wake Pen and Rich (aka The Sleeping Beauties)
16. feed cats - a cause of much cursing if there is no catfood open, or one of our two cats is missing
17. get today's pill box
18. prepare breakfast - toast or weetabix + a cup of tea - got to have this even if I don't fancy it, 'cos pills must be taken with food (otherwise dire consequences)
19. turn off radio
20. lurch into lounge - with tea, toast/weetabix, pills and socks (note- mode of locomotion has shifted from shuffle to lurch, my joints are loosening)
21. arrange cockpit
22. sit down and wrestle with socks
23. turn on laptop
24. turn on TV - tune to Radio 4
25. return to kitchen to get things I have forgotten
26. stagger back to turn down tele cos it is inevitably too loud, threatening to wake Pen and Rich (aka The Sleeping Beauties) - note- mode of locomotion has shifted from lurch to stagger, cos I'm hurrying
27. slurp tea/eat fodder
28. check email while doing above, trying (unsuccessfully) not to get crumbs in keyboard
29. take pills
30. browse Guardian and Wikipedia front pages - opening articles that interest me as background pages
31. read some of above articles - cursing as necessary at Bush, Blair, Cameron, "state of world in general"
32. get cold (especially if it's after 8:30 when heating goes off)
33. either -
    - put blanket over knees
    - go to utility room to turn central heating back on - optional activities: step in cat sick, curse, clear up cat sick whilst cursing (who said men can't multi-task)
34. settle on sofa again
35. get annoyed with radio especially if it is "Midweek" with bloody smug Libby Purves
36. turn sound down
37. open "bloghawk" - snigger at enormously witty posts
38. sign in to blogger - optional activity: curse at inability to type password accurately with sausage fingers
39. settle to write new blog post

Those are the 39 necessary steps preliminary to writing this post - I just hope you are grateful for all the effort